Rocky Cape Christian Community

from Life in Christian Community, Upset and Discourage Them, Turn Them against Jesus Christ, and Plunge Them into Emotional and Spiritual Conflict that will plague them for the Rest of Their Lives

1. Almost all newcomers will have something to question or challenge about your life in community. If you want to get rid of them quickly, refuse to take them seriously or listen to what they are saying.
2. While newcomers are wasting their time trying to tell you something, keep glancing past them, look at your watch, interrupt them, or let them know in other effective ways that you have already heard this a thousand times, you know all about it, and nothing could interest you less than having to listen to it again.
3. Whatever questions newcomers come up with, be sure to answer them thoroughly, with the Bible and the full authority of your church tradition and leadership, completely silencing them at once (hopefully before they even get done presenting their case) in such a way that the question is sure never to come up again. Just concentrate on quieting them down and getting them to respect you for who you are.
4. Or, if your newcomers turn critical, loud, and unhandy, let them blow off all the steam they want. Never challenge them with the truth—just sit there nodding your head and acting as if you agreed with them in everything. That will also get them confused, entangled in their own ideas, and out of your community in a hurry.
5. Tell seekers not to worry too much about the ideology behind communal living or to waste time pondering what you believe. They must learn how to submit, not to understand. Tell them just to come, experience your way of life first-hand, and everything will fall into place.
6. Do not let seekers deliberate their coming for too long. Urge them to make up their minds quickly, just surrender all and stay with you on first contact. Classify all those that “come and go” a few times as unstable and double minded—people you cannot use anyway.
7. Don’t mix the practical aspect of communal living with vague spiritual concepts. Be sure your new members have their social values straight (that they believe in justice, equality, serving others above themselves, and keep as their goal the ultimate well-being of man). Be sure their actions are right, but do not worry too much about the beliefs they may hold in their hearts. Consider that a personal matter.
8. Do not get insistent or needlessly dogmatic with how you live. Let newcomers know that even though you live this way, you readily accept others that don’t. Tell them that living a certain way for Jesus is just a matter of taste, of “what works out for you,” and in the end, optional. Keep talking this way so they will find it easier to settle down among you—no longer needing to offend anyone, or break old friendships, family ties, and religious associations.
9. Whatever you do, don’t be quick to accept more newcomers, or give them the impression that anyone can “just walk in and make himself at home.” Let seekers find out (the hard way if necessary) that Christian communities cannot possibly accept everyone that knocks on their door. Accept only those you can use—young, intelligent, serious-minded or good-looking people—and get the rest to move on. You can’t help everyone, you know.
10. If you struggle with your finances or lack sufficient space for your own families and stored materials, don’t take in newcomers. They can waste a lot of your time and resources. Or at least, if you accept any, let them know how much trouble it causes you, so they will appreciate your generosity and sacrifices more. 
11. Never let seekers know that you must evaluate their interest and commitment. Keep speaking nicely and in an encouraging way to all of them—even to those you have no plans to accept—so you won’t hurt their feelings or have them go away speaking evil of you. 
12. Be quick to tell seekers (whether you plan on accepting them or not) that true peace and satisfaction comes only from living in community, so they will keep on looking for it after they leave your place.  
13. Keep telling newcomers of the obvious blessings and advantages of life together—mothers getting excellent baby-sitters for free, everyone getting free meals without having to work hard, fathers getting long break-times with their families every day, the free use of communal vehicles, communications, and recreational facilities. Focus on the positive, pleasurable, aspects of communal living and take for granted they will find out the rest soon enough.
14. If you find any subjects disagreeable to discuss with your newcomers (things they don’t see eye-to-eye with you) just leave them. Avoid direct confrontation wherever you can, at least during their time of proving for membership. Only talk about complicated issues after they have fully committed themselves, handing over all their possessions, so the risk of them leaving will not be so great.
15. Don’t put too much effort into receiving socially stable, educated, or financially successful seekers—or those with a religious past. Take for granted they don’t need community and will just make trouble for you. Concentrate, instead, on helping those that have just lost their jobs, their homes, or who have been getting into trouble wherever they were.
16. Whatever you do, don’t let newcomers know of tensions or unresolved problems among you. Guard such information with the greatest vigour, making sure none of your children or weaker members leak anything out. Let your newcomers know they have enough problems of their own, without trying to solve yours.
17. Don’t ask your newcomers to help you right away, or make them feel obligated to get to work. Just let them walk around and “get the feel of the place” for a few days or weeks. 
18. If trained professionals come among you, watch out you don’t give them a job working with children or animals! Take special pains to honour their position and try to occupy them with something befitting their career.
19. If newcomers only want to talk, let them talk. Don’t let your natural work and duties get into the way of sitting down and talking with them, as long as they want.
20. Avoid giving “tours” to your newcomers, as if you were a factory or a school. Just let them feel at home. Make them totally welcome to look for anything they may need, and take what they want.
21. Rather than going through long “orientation sessions” (describing rising and eating schedules, etc.) just let your newcomers make their own discoveries. Depend on it that after a few blunders they will catch on.
22. Let your newcomers know, and feel, that you owe them nothing—particularly those that come without much arrangement. If they don’t have what they need, tough. Either they can do without, or get it from some other place.
23. On the other hand, if your newcomers keep begging for things, don’t give them a flat “no.” Try to accommodate their desires as best you can, or at least give them money (perhaps your communal credit card) if that is what they think they need. Depend on things—not people—to make them happy and decide to stay with you.
24. For sure at the beginning, while they are moving in, spend as much time with your newcomers as possible—perhaps having the whole community over the first evening to show your love and support. After that just consider it okay to have your children running in and out of their place, watching them unpack, seeing what all they have, and keeping your newcomers entertained by asking them questions all day long. Don’t worry if your children fight over the newcomers’ toys, or misbehave in their apartment, as long as they do it in a language “outsiders” like them cannot understand.  
25. Bring your newcomers to full surrender at once. Give them whatever you don’t need or want (broken or dirty articles will be fine, or appliances that only need a few parts). They need to learn, like Paul, to be content in every situation. Then, for something extra, give them the outdated snack foods you don’t like.
26. Don’t fix what isn’t broken. As long as your newcomers are not asking for anything, or coming up with complaints, leave them alone. Until you know otherwise, take for granted they know everything they want and are getting along fine.
27. Expect newcomers to enjoy your meal-times, your meetings, and communal activities on a large highly mechanised farm. If they seem a bit timid at first, or reluctant to join in, laugh them out of it. Expect them to get used to everything quickly and start rushing around (not worrying too much about manners) like the rest.
28. You won’t know your newcomers’ true character until you have played a few pranks on them, or told them your favourite jokes. If they don’t get it the first time, keep telling them the same jokes, or do your same mimicking acts day after day. Above all else, keep the newcomers among you amused.
29. New women not liking it? Don’t pay them too much attention. Women always find something to fuss about. Get the men convinced and trust their wives to come along just fine. (After all, your women have lived in community all their lives and seem to be enjoying it. Why shouldn’t they?)
30. Be sure new families come to all mealtimes. How else should they learn to keep their children in order, to fit in with the rest, and discover the blessing of a rigid schedule? With everyone around them as a good example, they should soon get the picture of how to do things. 
31. If new people seem to have trouble with their children, tell them at once what the problem is and how to fix it. Tell them exactly what you would do in their situation, and insist they take your advice. If it worked for you (or if you are sure it would work if you had children) why shouldn’t it work for them?
32. Even if you harbour doubts and second thoughts about newcomers in your heart, keep smiling and talking sweetly to them. No matter if the end is clearly in sight, try to keep them encouraged and feeling good about things.
33. Once things get difficult with your newcomers, stop pressing whatever point you were trying to make. Just back off and let them “get over it” on their own. Direct them to people outside your community (radio preachers or cassette ministries) to help them if necessary.
34. If you need help with handling newcomers, ask other communities (particularly those that haven’t kept any converts for the last 250 years) for advice. They’ll have plenty to share. 
35. Keep your newcomers surrounded with people, talk, noise, and the friendly chatting and questions of everyone in your community, all day long. In the world they lived a lonely life. Make sure they never get left alone among you.
36. With the first three weeks of life in community behind them, expect your newcomers to have settled down, learned to enjoy what goes on, and have a good understanding of what you believe and do. From that time on, concentrate on working together, not on discussing more and more issues. Let your newcomers know that they should not bring up more and more new things, but learn to be quiet and get to work. 
37. Keep newcomers to whatever they said on arrival in your community. If they waver or question what they earlier believed, reprimand them sternly. Don’t let them slide back.
38. If newcomers point out your faults and inconsistencies, promptly remind them that they should first work on their own faults. Tell them to get the planks out of their own eyes before trying to pick slivers out of yours.
39. Don’t let newcomers teach you or try to drag you along with their convictions (supposedly more biblical or better than yours). Tell them it is more important to obey and fit in, than to hold personal convictions.
40. Get newcomers to conform at once to your way of doing things. Even if it makes no sense to them, or violates their consciences. If that is how you do it, just kindly, stubbornly, insist they do the same. 
41. Expect newcomers to continue in a few clandestine activities—perhaps meeting with others to make plans in secret, to conduct different types of religious activities on the sly, and such things. As long as it does not get in your way, pay no attention to it. Trust them to “get over it” sooner or later.
42. If newcomers believe themselves to have a certain skill or talent, don’t use it right away. Put them to work on jobs for which they have no natural inclination to humble them, break them, and keep them in their place.
43. Whatever you do, never let newcomers express themselves in your meetings. Do not bring them to your important meetings at all. Get them to accept their role as “newcomers”—silent, permanent observers—and let them know they will keep that role until a good number of others have joined after them.
44. Don’t worry about newcomers enjoying your worship meetings or getting much out of them. If you speak or sing in a language they don’t know—tough. Just tell them to learn it.
45. No matter how it goes, keep pushing your newcomers toward a solid commitment. Depend on it that after they make it, you will relax and things will go better for you. Keep telling them that everything hinges on commitment, so they should not hesitate in making one.
46. If your newcomers’ resolve to stay among you becomes a bit shaky, start thinking of all the reasons they wouldn’t have made good members anyway. Discuss their faults and weaknesses with others in the community, so you may all be prepared (and possibly quite relieved) when they finally announce their departure.
47. Whatever you do, never expect of your newcomers what you do of yourself or people born and raised in community. Remember, for the rest of their lives, where they come from, and why they are just a bit “different” or less than normal in a few respects.
48. When newcomers give up on you, turning away from you in confusion, grief, or disgust, pay them no attention. Just smile, fold your hands over your ample tummies and say, “Ja, Ja, the way is too narrow for them!”
49. Keep trying to convince everyone that the best and most important thing is to live in community. Tell everyone it is as close to heaven as we can get on this earth—all we may expect, in fact, of the Christian life.

But you will convince no one. And if you only bring seekers to community but not to Jesus Christ, you make them twice as much children of hell as you already are (Matthew 23:15). 

Follow the pattern described in this paper and you will lose every serious-minded convert that comes to your community. You will bring men to blaspheme the name of Christ. Not holding the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven you will knock them from the hands of those that reach for them (Luke 11:52)—and for turning infant believers away from Christ it were better for you to have a millstone hanged about your necks and to drown in the depths of the sea.

Peter Hoover
22 October 2003