Rocky Cape Christian Community

Into a Christian Community, Make Them Feel at Home, Keep Them Happy, and Work With Them Through Every Situation that May Arise During Years Following 

1. Make sure you, and the people that come to you, understand the purpose for living in Christian community.
2. Jesus did not call you into community to help you out, to give you a comfortable life, to supply you with a home if you need one, or to balance out the assets of the rich and the poor. Christian communities do not exist, in first place, for utilitarian or practical reasons (working together for the good of man). They exist to please God. Teach this, and the picture will become clear.
3. God sent Jesus to earth, and allowed him to die on the cross, for his Kingdom (lost in Eden) to become re-established here. Now he deserves to see the reward of his sacrifice in Christian communities—the promise of his returning Kingdom—around the earth. Believe this and you may serve God together, no matter how much it costs to receive new people among you, with thankful hearts and joy.    
4. Do not water your message down. Do not make what you believe softer and more pliable—until it pleases everyone. Sure, the Holy Spirit can and does work “outside of community,” just like people can love outside of marriage. But God depends on Christian communities to point the way and open the door into the Kingdom of Heaven. They serve as pictures of his Kingdom. In them the wolf, the lion, and the lamb become tame, and feed together. In them all swords become plough shares and spears pruning hooks. In them his will is done on earth as it is in heaven. Nothing outside of true koinonia (Gemeinschaft) in Jesus fulfils what he wants of his followers on earth. Until you comprehend this and live it out, you can help no-one become adjusted among you.
5. Freely you have received. Freely give. Just like others welcomed you into Christian Community (when you arrived at birth or otherwise) welcome those that seek it today.
6. Do not let money and space become the deciding factor on whether to receive honest seekers. The Lord Jesus that led them to your community will provide for them. (An impoverished Anabaptist Bruderhof in Romania received six hundred ninety five newcomers during the Christmas week of 1622 alone. Another one received several thousand in less than a year’s time and survived.) But no matter how much money and space you have, never receive one person the Lord Jesus cannot lead—a proud, selfish, headstrong or divisive person. People like that, John says, we dare not welcome or even let into the door (2 John 10-11).
7. Welcome all that come with truly open and humble hearts. Of course you cannot know them, intimately, before they arrive. Of course there may be surprises, but if the Spirit of Jesus dwells in you, he will help you discern. He will send you exactly the people you need, and help you find your way with them.
8. Do not worry about being too thorough or too consistent in your screening of applicants for community. Be kind—of course—but remember Jesus and the Phoenician woman. Genuine seekers are not easily deterred. 
9. Allow no one to think that true peace and satisfaction comes from living in community. It doesn’t. True peace and satisfaction come from getting up early in the morning, beginning, walking all day, and ending every day with Jesus. It comes from doing an honest day’s work and thinking more of others than we do of ourselves. Living in community enhances this and makes an enjoyable life yet more enjoyable. But it brings no peace to the lazy, those quick to complain, or the rebellious.  
10. Discern how those that would join community feel about obeying orders and submitting one to another. Like the army, Christian community is no place for the insubordinate. If newcomers show that trait, save them the trouble of trying to join. Send them on.  
11. Before inviting anyone to come (for longer than just a casual visit) insist they become familiar with what you believe and how you live. Give them your written statement, if you have one. Ask for their explicit response to it, hopefully in written form.
12. Make sure all newcomers know that joining a Christian community involves the end of their “private” activities (deciding on their own where to go, what to do, and when). Hide nothing from them. Do not make life in community sound easy or attractive for the flesh. Just tell it like it is—death to self for the otherworldly joy of fellowship in Jesus.
13. Come to a good understanding with seekers before accepting them as trial members. Discuss what is important to you. If they have no interest in such discussion, or become evasive and want to rush into things, do not receive them. Jesus said only those that become like little children (teachable, holding no grudges) enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
14. Do not receive people that get offended if you correct them, that brag about who they are or what they have done, or that consider themselves a great asset wherever they go. As long as people come in a proud spirit, believing themselves worthy “intellectuals,” they had better stay out of community.
15. Watch out you do not receive people coming to you just because they lost their job, need a place to live (a retirement home, perhaps), or couldn’t get along with others where they were. Discern their motivation. Some—it is true—find themselves in trouble and need for following Jesus. But trouble also comes for other reasons. 
16. As a community, come to a good understanding and agreement before receiving anyone. If you are divided among yourselves, or if some of you welcome newcomers and others don’t, you bring great trouble on all involved for receiving them. Only where the Holy Spirit unites communities in the bond of peace may newcomers enter, find acceptance, and grow.
17. Hidden things among you? Shady deals, stuff happening on the sly, or members talking behind one another’s backs? Be sure your newcomers will know and see it all—very quickly. Only if you have your house in order (or at least, stand ready to put it in order as soon as you find it otherwise), may Jesus unite and bless you with rest for your souls. 
18. Give everyone that comes something constructive to do, at once. Do not let them shuffle around, feeling embarrassed and out-of-place, or stuck in their apartments alone. Some will be too shy to involve themselves in the community’s work without being invited or told how. Others simply won’t know where to take hold. The first days (even the very first day) are crucial.
19. Do not fear to ask newcomers to help you. Even though they may not have done your kind of work before (they being trained professionals and you a farmer or housewife) they will most likely love it, and jump for the chance. Do not consider any honest task beneath another in dignity. In community they all become equal.
20. Let those that come only to talk and expect you to sit and talk with them, discover that communal life is otherwise. Put them to work while the work is on. Don’t let them slow everything down by using their mouths instead of their hands.
21. Give those that have nothing to do or cannot work hard important material (passages of Scripture or helpful Christian writings) to study and prepare reports on. All newcomers may benefit from this.  
22. Take your time showing new people around. Make sure they know where to find the laundry, how the machines work, and when to take their turn. Explain eating and rising schedules, your meetings, and who to ask for what (medicines, toilet paper, new clothes, batteries, toothpaste, etc.). Never having lived in community before, much of this can be quite bewildering to those that come.
23. In most cases accommodations can be made before a new individual or family’s arrival (where to stay, what furniture and appliances to use, etc.). But in cases where this is not possible—where newcomers drop in with little or no warning—much grace and patience becomes necessary on both sides. Newcomers that become impatient or pushy about their needs may discreetly be asked to leave. The community owes them nothing. On the other hand, when people arrive in urgent need, do nothing less for them than what Jesus would have done.
24. Do not pamper the new people among you, giving them more than the rest, or allowing them special privileges just to keep them happy. Do not think you have to give them everything they ask for. Later on it may not work out that way and they will wonder what happened.
25. When new people arrive, be sure to give them enough time by themselves (not all come piling in to see them, the first evening!). But keep in touch. Visit them frequently. Do not force them to come around asking for what they need—much rather go and ask them. Ask them what they find particularly difficult, or if there is anything about life in your community they don’t understand. Open all doors to communication. 
26. Do not confuse newcomers, or have them second-guessing your motives, for giving them appliances that do not work, broken or dirty furniture and bedding, or unsorted boxes full of refuse from second-hand stores. If you have two of anything, do not share only what you don’t like or find difficult to use. 
27. Do not wait on new people in your community to come around and visit you. Go visit them. They may find it awkward or unusual, at first, to go visiting without invitations. But if you show them how, and become real friends, they will get comfortable with it.
28. On a personal level, spend regular times, if possible, with those that are new among you (this will take some arrangement), not just in public meetings or on the workplace. Discuss all areas of faith and practice with them, and seek with them for answers to all questions that arise. Do not let them “float along” for months until serious misconceptions may have formed, problems may have developed, and fatigue and despair may have set in, before you begin to do this. (Moravian communities, in the eighteenth century, held weekly meetings with newcomers, and assigned a mature brother or sister as a “companion in Christ” to everyone that came.)
29. Communal life, for some newcomers, may appear to have a rough, impersonal, edge to it. After a noisy (too often noisy and rushed) mealtime, the women move like a small army into the kitchen, the men go tearing off on big loud machines, vehicles zip everywhere, hordes of children head off to school or play. People used to a slower small-scale operation and quiet meals at home, may feel bewildered, intimidated, or even totally “out of their element.” Be patient with them. Give them time to speak with you as a person, not just as a “member of the community” rushing off to do your job.
30. Stay clear of jokes and pranks on new people among you. More often than not your jokes are poorly understood and not really funny anyway. While going through major cultural adjustment newcomers benefit unspeakably much more from a word of encouragement or praying together than from your foolishness. 
31. Never mimic newcomers (not even in private) or poke fun at their ways. Treat them like Jesus would—or like you would treat Jesus. This, on earth, is your only chance. 
32. Do nothing to “try out” your newcomers, or to see how they would react to what you say. Not only is such conduct rude and immature—it makes enemies not friends. It diminishes whatever respect people may have had for you.    
33. New women among you? Remember it is often harder for women to adjust to communal living than it is for the men. Not only may women from other settings have to adjust to a completely new and “outlandish” appearance (modest attire acceptable to the community)—they need to adjust to a totally different schedule and may find it disorienting. Instead of planning their own meals and work, doing their own shopping, and seeing to their children’s education as before, they suddenly find themselves “deprived” of all such responsibility. Communal work goes in shifts, the children go here, the men go there. Whatever these women knew how to do (particularly those with a profession) seems irrelevant now, making them feel quite useless and out-of-place until they discover fulfilment in a new way among you. Pray much for them. Be patient with them, and love them without being overbearing or rude.
34. Mealtimes for new families in community may be very stressful. Suddenly, instead of enjoying quiet “family times” around the table, they may feel rushed and self-conscious—trying to keep their children in order under the scrutiny of hundreds of eyes. The children, new to the situation as well, may react in difficult ways and compound the matter. Be lenient with new families in this area, and if they need some meals by themselves, by all means give them the privilege. Pray for them and support them until things fall into place for them. 
35. If new people among you have obvious difficulties with their children, in their marriage, with habits and lifestyles learned in the world, do not stand and stare. Pray! Help where you can (giving advice or support as needed) without meddling.
36. Do not avoid direct but loving confrontation with the new people among you, in the Spirit of Jesus. Always prefer speaking the truth in love over the long slow death of hypocrisy—smiling and saying sweet things while thinking all the time what you do not have the courage to say. 
37. Particularly after difficulties develop, do not avoid newcomers, or try to stay as far from the subject of their difficulties as possible. Monsters grow in the dark. The sooner things get laid out and discussed in the light, the sooner you may live together in peace.
38. New people among you may find it really stressful, at first, to continually relate in a personal way to everyone around them. In “the world” (especially in big cities) one can move about day after day in an oddly detached, impersonal, and very comfortably private manner. One can even fake “being sociable.” Not so, in community! Suddenly everyone you see and work with knows you. Everyone has something to say, and expects you to say something in return. Pray for the new people among you that God will give them the emotional strength for this challenge. If they need time alone (even “alone in town” which may seem strange to you) let them have it.
39. Even if the new people among you need a week or more of “time out,” do not object. But before they become members of your community, they should not expect you to finance these excursions. And the time for these self-appointed “holidays” will definitely come to a close.
40. Not everything comes quickly to the surface. Learning to live in community is a process—in many ways, a complete relearning of how to live. Do not be surprised if the new people among you come up with completely new and unexpected problems, repeatedly. Living together brings the worst, as well as the best, out of people. Only after everything is OUT and dealt with can you live in community together.
41. Do not be surprised if—during their adjustment process—the new people among you waver and change their minds about many things they claimed to believe on arrival. The Spirit works powerfully in times of vulnerability and change. But there are also many evil spirits at work. Pray for them, that they may keep their eyes on Jesus! Pray that the imperfections in your community may not turn them away from following him.
42. Most newcomers to Christian community arrive with high ideals and a largely fanciful idea of what life together may be like. Once the reality hits them that life inside is still “life,” and the humans they deal with are still fully human, they may go through a time of deep disillusionment. Do not blame them, or get “tough” with them about it. Certainly do not cover up the imperfections or try to defend them. Your honesty and humility will do more to convince and restore confidence than anything else. Help them see how they may take part in fixing your imperfections. 
43. If newcomers among you are ahead of you in anything (in their convictions, in their walk with Jesus), learn from them! Do not try to pull them back or knock them down. Perhaps for this exact reason Jesus sent them to you.
44. Do not think of forcing uniformity in non-essentials upon your newcomers in areas where it troubles their consciences (forcing them to participate in sports, recreation, entertainment, etc.). They may simply not enjoy what all the rest of you enjoy. Just live by Romans 14 in these matters.
45. Do not let differences in what you do become barriers between you. Do not let one person’s preferences (particularly not if he is new among you) dictate what the whole group must live by. Waste no time on “doubtful disputations.”
46. Nip clandestine circles in the bud. Anyone coming to community with an agenda (with secret plans to attract a following, to use the community as a stepping stone to go somewhere else, or who simply needs a place for having gotten into trouble elsewhere) should be promptly and firmly encouraged to leave. Unless learning about the community—with a sincere desire to join if possible—is their sole objective in coming, newcomers have no business among you.
47. Watch out for newcomers that want to spend their time only with certain people in the community, or who enjoy being with younger and newer members but not with those in authority. Lead those that come into a loving and mature relationship with everyone on the place.
48. Discuss potential problems quickly. A stitch in time saves nine. Do not wait to confront the new people among you until a situation becomes tense and unhandy.
49. Once new people among you become stubborn and openly non-cooperative, they need to leave. Living among you disgruntled for a long time (until they make up their minds where to go next) does neither them nor you any good. A little yeast leavens the whole lump.
50. Help newcomers make whatever changes necessary to fit into your community. Be firm and consistent. But ask nothing unreasonable.  
51. Praise God for the skills, the talents, the widening of horizons that come with every new member of your community. It is your job to put all that to use for Jesus’ glory. The sooner you learn how to make use of your new members’ gifts, the sooner they will feel at home among you.
52. Let your new members know that you thank God for their gifts, but do not flatter them. They need to remember that your community got along fine before they came. No one is indispensable. 
53. Give your new members freedom to express themselves when you meet. Encourage them, in fact, to do it. It will help them sort out what they think and believe. But do not let them dominate your meetings or insist on teaching when they ought to be learning. 
54. Do not welcome those that desire a position in leadership, that immediately want to change this and that, or who undermine and work against those in authority among you. Make sure everyone that comes understands that gifts in leadership or teaching will only be used as needed, and that only after an ample time of proving (while working together in other areas).
55. Make sure those new among you get spiritually fed. Give them proper, balanced, and stimulating instruction. Do what you can to have them come home from your meetings inspired and challenged—not confused or bored.
56. Do not allow newcomers to make a quick and early commitment to your community. It will hurt them and you.
57. On the other hand, help them toward making a solid commitment (perhaps better said “to surrender completely”) within due time. Some avoid doing it for thinking, “You mean I’ll be into this forever? With my children and grandchildren?” Others simply can’t overcome the American urge to being in control of their own lives—doing whatever they want, whenever they wish. Help them see that no earthly situation is longer than life. Life is short, and we cannot control it anyway. Giving our lives to Jesus and his body on earth is not risky. It is the only safe thing to do.
58. Let your new people be who they really are in Jesus, and keep on being who you are. Don’t “fake it” in an effort to get along. Even though Jesus transforms you, remember that some will always be transformed Jews and others transformed Greeks. Ethnic Jews will never become ethnic Greeks, or vice versa. Neither will Germans ever become “real” Americans, or Australians, or blacks, or Parsees. And neither does it matter, for in Christ we all become one (regardless of what language we think in, which food tastes right to us, or how we fold our wash). Learn how diversity becomes harmony so you may keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
59. Expect no less—when it comes to walking with Jesus—of your new members as you do of yourself and all the rest.
60. In everything, bring your new members to Jesus, not only to his church.

Peter Hoover
22 October 2003